Monday's walk 365 days

dog and me, originally uploaded by v8grrl.

I got out of bed….

it was a feat, considering I couldn't sleep until 2:45 am

Life is hard, but

You just keep on going.  Well, that is the game plan anyways.  The past few months I have had a hard time coming to the realization that I work.  It seems odd doesn't it?  I went to school to become a nurse and couldn't wait to get started.   Now, I'm exhausted and my little pea brain can't wrap itself around the fact I MUST go to work 3-12 hour shifts a week to keep myself employed and the family with benefits.  It's not much to ask, so what is wrong with me?  Before I got this coveted full time benefited position I worked halftime and I was happy and functioning, although a bit guilt ridden.  You see, I worked 3 shifts a pay period (in 2 weeks).  The money was less, the benefits not as good, but I was happy....and I could pick up extra shifts for "golden time" if I wanted.  

Is it me?  Just never satisfied?  possibly...

Is it working the 12 hour night shifts and being a crappy sleeper?  maybe

Or is it the fact I just want to be a stay at home mom and go to knitting group in the morning and volunteer for the kids field trips?

( go check out Monster By Mail...so cool)

this picture actually looks like me :)

You see, if I could just figure out how to function I'm sure it would be better.  How can I incorporate real life and 12 hour night shifts?  How can I work out?  How can I grocery shop or garden when I am so tired...or better yet zombiefied?  3-12's, a lot of people would die for that!...Even I'm not sure I could go back to 5-8's.

Life is hard, but it seems to me its even harder when you can't grasp the reality it hands you.  There are no classes for this, or really good pieces of advice.  You just keep doing what you need to do.

My friendships, at this point in my life, are non existent which makes life non escapable.

There is no Friday Afternoon Club to attend or couples family fun night.

It's an abyss.  

Its life.

It's time to figure it out.

You guys have a great weekend

Somehow my schedule got all put at the end of one week and the beginning of another so I have 3-12's on one night off the 3 more 12's

basically 6/12 hour shifts in a row.

Thats basically an 80 hour work week in 6 days….at night.

xo

m

ps: and people wonder why I'm such a crotch

What a Good Day, knit, run, falldown

Today was late start at school, which I forgot so I was screaming at 730,  " Get Up!!! GEt UP!!!!"

Only to hear Olive go, "Mom, Its late start."

Oh, ok go back to sleep

 which I did, but apparently they could not, so they were up clanking around the house.

I got a workout in, went out to walk all the kids to school and there was a MOM!!!!  Joan, from Joan and Bill, who live a few blocks over.  She said, "hey, I'll ride with the kids this morning since I never get to."  

Well OK...sweet.  

You see, it's kind of a thing in our neighborhood since they took our crossing guard away.  We take turns walking the kids to the big intersection, crossing the street, then letting them go.  Whichever parent has the most guilt or most free time is the one who does it.  Which puts me in the lead in both categories.  But not today, I got a break !

I tld you guys about falling while running a few days ago right?  The picture does not capture the purple on my chicken sticks

lovely...now they really look like 12 year old's legs.

Man they hurt.  I didn't even put my flipping hands down....Although I did try to do a shoulder roll, but the train tracks were not condusive to a roll, so it was a smack and a skid.

I am still working on this great knitting shawl called Vlad.  I'm hoping to finish it this century, then I can get my friend Kris B to help me block it.

Here's what I got:

here's what it should look like when done:

calliopeknits at flikr

I'm starting to have my doubts.

Well, I'm on a roll, so I better keep it moving and try to stay away from crawling back into bed, since that has been my MO lately

miss you guys...

xo

m

Nursing report Telemetry

I'm trying something for my friends at Allnurses.  seeing if I can figure out a way to upload a report for them to copy.  If you are an RN and want a report, feel free to copy this one.  I think if you click the picture you can save it and print it full size.

I do what I have to do...

Right?

Right....

Here's what I did today.

I came home from work at 8 am, slept...then thought

I thought long and hard, and made a decision that I thought I would have liked to have happened when I was 15.

So, when Blue came home from school.  I took him to Floyds to get a haircut, which one I don't know, because for 25 dollars they really didn't cut much of anything...but whatever

Then to Target....

then I took this kid:

To Planned Parenthood....unbeknownst (sp?)

 to him.

He didn't act freaked or surprised, really.

We walked around the glass to the counter, where there was this adorable 20 something girl working.

"Hi, can I help you?"

"Yup, I'm bringing my son in here so he knows where his options are...if need be"

"Oh cool...well, right there to your left are condoms...free or donation....we can help with anything that you need...and there are a bunch of pamphlets on the wall...and there are some pamphlets about how to talk to your teens about sex....but I think you might have that one covered"  (big grin from her).

"yeah, Thank you   .....Blue, here are the condoms, not that you need these or will need them EVER, but if one of your "friends" may need one, or you guys have an issue you can come here, and they will help you, you know, if you are a bit confused...or whatever.   Buying condoms at the Walgreens is sometimes nerve wracking...so here, please be safe when you need to be."

He didn't get any, but he looked at the lady and said thanks...looked around, got his bearings and I could tell he was taking mental notes.

We got in the car and I said,"Just so you know there is another place to go, if you can't talk to me...but you can always talk to me.

"Thanks mom, it's cool"

I wish to God, my parents had given me more than trial and error when I was his age.