always the friend....
It's a great title....
Looks good on life resumes....
But how long is too long.
My entire life I have been the friend, buddy, cool girl, one to call, always there, girl.
At 50 I still experience this.
A couple days ago I was walking through our local music night on Main Street, when I was approached by a friend. I love this guy to death. He's my age, rides Harleys, does yoga, funny, foul. and always up for a beer and a laugh. I gave him a nice hug,( as I always do with everyone) and said , "_____, what's going on with you?? You lost some weight... ya look great though" And with a smile he let loose with his recent life story which was a a bit of a bummer and slightly untimely as I was standing with a friend. I listened and smiled and all of a sudden he looked at my friend and said , " Myssi is my girl...she listens and I can always count on her to know me...."
Ok... It's good.
I love him. He's hot. He around ....
my friends love him ( and many have done him)....
But here it is ....
the truth,
what if I had wanted to do him?
It's a bummer because I'm never sure if I friend zoned myself or it just happened with time.
It doesn't really matter anyways...
Just thinking on paper.
What if I wanted to , ya know....grown adult consenting stuff with him? Or any of my guy friends for that matter...
Yeah...I've friend zoned myself.
I have a few friends who crack me up about this.
" Don't you worry....I'd do ya if needed"
"Would I have to take you to dinner?"
"It would be hard to explain"
yes, yes it would.
Truth is, I don't find many men attractive.
It's far and few between and it's not usually the norm. Many of my friends are pretty awesome and good looking but only a few are what I find mentally attractive. I love it when they text out of the blue, send funny memes, or stop by to sit and have a beer. I love them in that way and it is what lately, has kept me moving forward.
But....There are a couple that I hope do text.... the few that have me checking my phone at weird times...
checking when I think they might text because they know me.
The super early text...to say hi.
The late night meme...
or simple picture.
The smile emoji and a "what are ya doing?"
Those friends.
I'm pretty sure they don't know that I feel that way...or care.
I'll just keep passing out fairly ok advice to them about their dating habits....Encourage them to forget about it.... and build them up when they text from or after their dates to say
"Hey....what are you doin right now?"
yeah.
The ones I wish would come over and say, come on....
I got this....
let's get the fuck outta here.
waiting ....
waiting ...
waiting...
write ya later,
from the middle age bestie
with ample free time and advice
xo,
m
I'm here for the taking....
haha
haha
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