tap tap....please turn on...please work

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When the heart is broken, non working, unable, a piece of crap for so long....

 one starts to figure out ways to feel again.

to feel like a person again....

to see if it's worthy...

not just the heart....
 but your soul, and your person

you begin to question are you not only lovable again....

are you even fucking likable?

Are you too weird in the head to let people in?

Have you buried your thoughts for so long they have become a deviant, hot mess 6 inches below the surface and if someone gets that magic key and opens the door...

lord have mercy...

they are no way going to be ready.

even if they adore you from the outside....

the inside...

is

not 

safe

but yet as I have been told,

"it is unfortunate that you have this amazing body and are so fun...
and yet....
it's still connected to your brain"

Yes....

all this....

it unfortunately comes with my personality too....

sorry

you are awesome, you are beautiful, fucking amazing....

but...

always....

but....

last call girl
friend to all
always awake
always here
talkable

perfectly fun

"but I can never be with you,
I know too much....
we don't mesh...
our ideals are different...
you would never fit in with my friends...."

"send me a pic...
talk to me....
come spend the night...."

now I learn how to be
how to maybe love again
how to choose wisely
how to laugh
how to touch
how to let go


xo
write ya later
I got this
slow and steady wins the race
m