it's so hard

It is...

It sucks.

it really doesn't matter how many friends you have... you are always alone.

I understand that. I really do.

I'm going to type perfectly honest right now.

I can't sleep, My 3 am text buddy died in his sleep last week

His best friend, Mark,  is broken.

He texted me tonight

"what ya doin"?

I texted back....

"I'm here....I can come to you"

We sat and had a beer, ate some dinner and talked about the good times we had shared with Chris...

I know he hurts....

I can't fix it.

Just listen and keep being strong

I'm having a hard time....taking care of people and not breaking down.

working,

mediating Olive,

and being me.

I want to leave and go somewhere but it is not feasible.

I want to run away but I'm not 22...

gotta suck it up and keep moving forward no matter what I feel right now.

the silence of the separation is nerve wracking

it will be ok

xo,

write ya later,

m