I really did sit and cry the other day at lunch
I sat outside and texted a few people in hopes of being rescued from my own mind.
I was reminded that I was strong and that it wasn't much longer...
and I know that.
I know that
I know
I want to go home.
but then I think of how wonderful this has been
escaping the pain of my home life and troubles,
in an area where people do not know me,
but everyone appreciates me...
our jobs keep us so busy that there really is no time for heart hurting pain
or the fact that we are doing some crazy ass nursing shit
we just keep moving
the days are irrelevant and the biggest thing of the day is what you are ordering for dinner
and if someone will steal it from the food delivery area or not.
I got lost almost every day for a week at Jacobi...
These staff nurses made the days ok...
they were hard asses but I got used to the NY yelling and the weird sense of humor
they made us feel like family
How will I ever stop calling everyone Mommy and Papi
(it's a Bronx thing)
Take a minute.
smiling underneath
It's soooo hot in those stupid gowns.
Every room we walk into or come out of we have to don and doff...
every time.
all of that comes off and goes in garbage then you put it on again.
it takes a minute....
when someone is coding (dying) it seems to take 30 minutes to get it on properly
I look at this everyday and wonder what the theme was
These two...Jack and Jenna...
they aren't a couple but were inseparable ....
So weird to see them without masks.
They look awesome, never would have guessed
still empty. March 1, 2020
Lots of bridges and I couldn't figure out which was which but they were cool
every one in a while there were donuts from someone.
Covid donuts...
but the nurses we are, we ate them
He started filming the bus ride in slow mo....phone taped to the window.
He got left once at Jacobi , because his patient coded at shift change and we didn't all know each other yet....after that we always yelled " Is Brandon here?"
Chuck...
Southern as all get out and came from Pediatrics. He learned how to wipe adult ass and he successfully changed his first bedpan ever, We all cheered and wrote "I changed my first bedpan!" on the back of his gown
We tried to stay perky
renegade Flower Arrangements in the NYC garbage cans...
better than wasting all that beauty
Jordan
another Colorado nurse
I need to figure out that face...
I saw it all over
I can’t take as many pictures as I would like of the situation I find pertinent, although I have snapped a few. My feet hurt, my heart hurts , but not as much as these people losing life and loved ones. It seems for every celebration of an extubation, 3 will die.
But yet we still must celebrate .... we must.
We are working too hard to not. Everyday I go back to my hotel and shower like my life depends on it, sleep, and then do it all over again.
I will never hear this song and not think about Jacobi
and how it was played every time they successfully
got a patient off the ventilator
( with covid, 75% of the people die if they were intubated)
so when we hear this.
we cheer, no matter what
because we are cheering not just for the life,
but for the work we all did,
for the breath they breathe on their own,
and for their family who is not there to see that fight
they are fighting
write ya later,
xo
m
I have maybe one more NYC post left in me