because my butt is hungry

This weekend Olive and I set out for some fun at the museum. We went to see the show at the Planetarium but decided to spend more money and go to the nature museum too. It's always something to see the world through the eyes of a 4 year old. We looked at everything, pushed every button and spoke to every senior citizen enroute. To say the least, it took forever.

On a nicer note....Because my butt feels like it looks like this:

I had to buy these:

Because, when I have no money I spend it.  I got myself 2 new pairs of shoes.  they are shiny, stacked and funky and they made me smile.

No matter how tight my underwear gets..shoes always look good.

I didn't tell anyone

I was up all night last night thinking about how I would explain my situation to friends and family. You see, I snuck off and took my licensing for LPN on the 7th. The test sucked. I'm a smart chick...pride myself in figuring things out. This test is a CAT which bases each question off your previous question...I believe the main goal is to prove you can safely take care of a patient and know how to delegate your priorities in odd situations. I heard somewhere also, that it is based on the time you answer the questions. I had no problem with the time. They give you 85-205 questions. If you answer so crappy or so good it can cut off at 85...if they need to know more ...the test continues. Needless to say my test cut off at 85...slammo...and I honestly had no idea. The questions were each a crapshoot except for maybe 7 of them. Those I knew. It took about 1 hour and 20 minutes. I don't screw around contemplating about answers. I jst put them down and move on.

Last night...I thought about how I would tell people when they asked what my future was and why I wasn't doing the nursing, that I was not chippy enough to actually pass the boards. I ate chocolate in the middle of the night and cried.

today...

The Pearson VUE Testing service has recorded your unofficial results as shown below. The Board of Nursing to which you applied for licensure will mail your official results to you within approximately four weeks of your exam date. Please note that a passing result alone does not authorize you to practice as a licensed nurse.

Exam Date:	Wed, 7 Jan 2009 at 10:00 AM
Candidate:	melissa graves
NCLEX ID:	21354800
Registration #:	228469878
Exam:	NCLEX-PN: The National Council Licensure Examination for Practical Nurses
Grade:	pass

I can move on now.

Message from the Universe

"Next time you make a wish, m, wish for what is, because really and truly, things don't get much better than this.

There is a purpose, a plan, and a reason for all things. What doesn't make sense, will make sense. You are exactly where you should be; your challenges are what they should be; your rewards are what they should be; and the best is yet to come. Time has served you well. Love is in the air. And you're looking mighty good in the light that now surrounds you."

Really. I think to myself? It doesn't get better than this? I do realize things happen for a reason and I'm willing to give up the idea I can't control things, but jeez. Boulder Foothills are burning down. I like to believe it's because all of these Californians moved here and brought their freaky weather with them, but I know, even when I'm a bit on the tipsy side that this revelation cannot be true. I waited last night for the hospital call tree (where you have to go back to work for mass casualty)to go off, but I didn't really think about it til my head hit the pillow, then I ran around like a chicken missing it's head looking for my cell phone. Luckily, they didn't call me. My brother has a house up on Lee Hill and Hippie Sue lives up there too. she informed me this morning she is packed and ready if need be, but the winds (108 mph) have finally died down.

Things like this make my personal life seem like a joke. Must I complain? Yes. But does it matter in the large spectrum of things? No. Perspective at it's finest.

Yesterday I received an email from Boob..."luv U"....Really? Seemed fishy.

So I know refer back to my message from the Universe this morning:There is a purpose, a plan, and a reason for all things. What doesn't make sense, will make sense. You are exactly where you should be; your challenges are what they should be; your rewards are what they should be; and the best is yet to come. Time has served you well. Love is in the air. And you're looking mighty good in the light that now surrounds you.

The letter from Booby, doesn't make sense. I am exactly where I should be: work? are you sure I shouldn't be on the beach somewhere working on my novel?...My challenges and my rewards are what they should be...and the best is yet to come?..well according to my issues I had yesterday...I'm frightened. You are looking mighty good in the light that now surrounds you?: Fire of the foothills?...is it similar to pink lighting?...or is all the smoke that is making me look better?

Those are my questions to the Universe.

Do you believe things happen for a reason? I do, but I don't know if I always agree with the reasoning.

xoxo

write ya later,

m

My own private Idaho

I revel in the beauty that my kids are sleepers. Narcoleptic to be exact. It's an amazing thing.
I have never had to deal with a screaming child as I request for the 20th time that there is no more water in the faucet and that the closet has been checked for the Boogie man so many times he got sick of hiding. I've hardly even had a small child crawl into bed with me in the middle of the night; it's actually quite bizarre the more I think about it.
Ilin was the first in the fine line of narcoleptics, although my mom would have said I was the first in line. He napped through kindergarten. Friends would ask me how I get him to nap at age 6. "he just does it"...This is the child who has no regard for personal space, cocktails, or your expensive meal when the narcolepsy hits. One minute upright....the next, facedown on the table. When I first met Bobby, he would shake his head in disbelief as the kid would slump, slide and be under the restaraunt table in a blink of an eye. The child is now turning 12 and he is the kid who has never made it through an all night sleepover. He says he often wakes covered in pillows and chairs, but that's ok....it's still fun. Fun for who, I wonder? His sister is following in his footsteps. 4.7 minutes into any caride, even if it involves driving 3 blocks to the grocery, the kid is asleep. Head bobbed to the side, drool, and little cooing noises. Narcolepsy, I'm telling you. I love it.
Here's my night: The clock rounds to 8 pm. Olive has her PJ's on, has actually had them on since 520 (kid loves her PJ's), and I say...hey, it's about time to get to bed. O: OK Mammoo, I'll go potty, get my pullup and I'll see ya upstairs. hmmmmmmm yes, see that? no arguing, no questions...nothing. 820 I go upstairs, walk into the room and the reading light is all ready off, books strewn around the bed and little snores coming from her cute little mouth. This is a 4 year old! How sweet is that? As I leave the room Ilin says, I'm going to bed too. Sleep my angels...sleep.
My life is good....here in my own private Idaho

YEPPERS

A few deep breaths and I'm back.
Still a bit stressed, but a new plan in place.
I looked over last year's resolutions and seemed fairly easy. Just don't put so much pressure on yourself! Lord.
Last year: Not to use plastic bags?! well...you know what? I did well on that one, so I'm going to move up on the resolution scale. It thought Solar Panels? That is a bit above my range.
So here is what I came up with.

ME.

I'm going to make an effort for ME. It's time. Bit by bit I'm going to take care of me.
Here are the lame things I thought of. Many of you don't know me in real life, but if you did, you would see why I have to put these on my list. Most girls are going to read this and say. "what the hell? Doesn't she do this anyways? No wonder she's miserable."

Hair coloring...I deserve to have someone other than myself and two cheap ass boxes of bad dye
eyebrow waxing.... ripping my own skin off...and then trying to explain it later....just not normal.
New clothes.... It's time. Once I get enough OOmph in my day I'm cleaning my closet and treating myself to some real clothes, not hand downs from a plastic bag that I can "justify why things don't fit properly".
Saying no...it's ok, I can do it. and this means not just to my kids...I need to say no to people and not feel bad.
Enjoying life.... Why not? I'm going to be 40...I deserve it.


Should be easy, right?
So, on that note...I'll be back to post something substantial...shortly. Work gets in the way
write ya later
m