School Blues

So, Yesterday it happened.
I broke down in class. Not sure if it was just hormonal or the stress...whatever the case, I did it. Blubbering idiot. I had a test in the same class that I failed the first test. I just needed to do better. In nursing school you must make a C or better to go onto the next class. I just started thinking about "what if I didn't pass?" It would be such a huge waste of time and energy, and embarrassing on top of it all. I was taking the test, which are all multiple choice and I just couldn't comprehend the questions. I read them, would read them again and then go onto the next question if I didn't know. Well, after I had answered all the questions I was sure about, then went back to see which ones I had narrowed down to 2 answers, I started panicking!!!. If I missed even half of the questions I wasn't sure about I would fail again! I just couldn't take it!. I was the last one to turn in my test.

The teacher graded them and when she came back in she said, " you did it!, thumbs up, you can tell your son you passed". I couldn't believe it. I made a 93. Higher than the average. The 3 questions I missed were ones I changed, which they had told me before the test not to do,to go with what you think, especially on critical thinking questions. I CAN do this. I CAN.

I'm continuing my work schedule the best I can, trying not to think about it too much. Coming into work at 3-4 am and working, going to school, then going home to take care of the house, kids then study. I got my first post school paycheck. It was a mere 745$, but all the insurance came out. I have 4 months left in this first semester, than a bit of a break to play catch up at work.

This weekend we are having Ilin's Birthday party. Ilin's dad called and said he was coming but of course offered nothing $$$ wise. I am going to try to not think about that. I do have to work tomorrow morning then I will get to Ilin's party at 215-530 then cross my fingers taht I have made enough hourly time.

talk to you soon.
m