53 , Let It Be

Well,

another year.

It's been a good one considering it's the age of Covid.

Party Animal 

crazy hair

Starting fresh

and this is how I celebrate birthdays

shoes and whatever I want.

it's all good

write ya later,

m

 

shit's contagious.....

I've learned that often, a good road trip can cure what ails you....

or at least numb it for about 24 hours.

My most fabulous niece loves to drive so we decided to hit the road from Denver, Saturday morning, and head for Buena Vista.

The drive was, and is, always divine and I feel that I am the ideal passenger.  

I position all snacks and drinks where I can easily access for me and driver.

I don't complain about music...

I bring a blanket in case driver prefers chilly airflow....

I pay for gas.

I sit and knit and say way too much of this phrase,

"look...look how pretty"

as we drive over the 100th pass of the day.

We went over Cottownwood Pass

Guenella Pass 

and one other....

stopped at every overlook and took pictures of every beautiful hill

We chose to wonder around Buena Vista and then got a 

room" term loosely utilized" 

here:

we enjoyed the Springs and had a few laughs.

We went out dancing....

I had no clothes to wear so I had to hit the thrift store and scored some cute clothes

for 18$

I took pictures of this view (below) about 15 times but in different areas of our state.

the iPhone is unable to capture the beauty 

and then I was required to bring my skinny ass home and get back to the weirdness my life has become.

I have amazing people in my life...absolutely amazing.  Friends I can tell anything to , and they let me be me. Right now I have no one to impress and that has begun to free up my mind and love for others. It has been interesting to receive unknown love from so many people, lately, so much so that I actually feel like all the love I have put out in the past is finally arriving back to help me.

I still realize I am very slow and my decisions have not been made as a final....

because I need to complete this counseling phase.

I have made a few slips in the past two months...but I still believe things and people come into my life for a reason and I am no longer going to fear being able to enjoy my life or self....or any of my friends. 

I am going with the flow.

These lovely pictures of me....no filters, zit on chin...bad hair...

it's just fine because I'm learning that my friends give a shit less if I get dressed to hang out.

They just want to hang out...

ride motorcycles

drink beer or go to happy hour...

and I can finely grab my bag and walk out the door without feeling too nervous or guilt.

I will be leaving to travel in a few weeks and it will be my first big trip with just O and Sissy.

It is not solo, but I'm in charge of myself with no reason to be sad about my self worth.

my next goal is completing counseling, and understanding why this is all happening... and what I can do to either correct this loss and bring him back into my life with empathy and new love....

or move on without sadness about the past, because it has been an amazing past,

and be prepared for my future with myself, kid and friends ....

and honestly, I hope ,regardless of what happens, he will still always be part of my life.

Love is hard and being with someone for 19 years is great, even though the past 5 years have been death to my heart body image and self worth....we have still had so much fun...and a long time ago, I can look back at photos, he loved me ....

I know this.

and maybe he still does.

time will tell.

in the mean time....

I have some old friends who were pushed off my list due to conflict of interest....

 who have requested some Myssi time in different areas of the country to drink beer...have fun and catch up.

I'm in.

So don't be surprised if you see me out....

running, mountain biking, snowboarding , dancing, laughing or just having plain old fun....

and watch out....

if you come too close I may hug and kiss you 

....

this shit is contagious.

xo,

write ya later.

m

LORDY LORDY

Well,
The weekend is upon us...Yahoo. I'm sooo ready. I have so much stuff I need to get done I can hardly think straight. I'll just have a few beers and think sideways, how about that?

First of all, I want to say how proud of my friend, Ms. Jones, for taking the pledge to be healthy/healthier. It's so awesome. My sweet friend Jenny, whom I have never met in person, but talk to online...we met each other on Self.com. We became workout buddies and encouraged each other when we were trying to get on track with poor eating and working out. We are both petite, but love the beer :) so losing a few pounds or tightening up a little in the middle is hard. She is still the one I talk to when I have a big accomplishment or amess up, and she always moves me forward. So, Ms. Jones I suggest you try Self.com...check out the forum sections and see if you can do the "Self Challenge".

Turkey day is coming up,,,or nonturkey day for me :0) i love the side dishes. We are having a little get together and we can all just relax, chit chat and have some yummy food, wine and conversation. Can't wait!

Next, I really need to pick a date for the Holiday Mansion Party. I want to get a new dress...Maybe we should change the theme from Dress up to something goofy this year, but I like to get dressed up...and I think it gives us girls a reason to get our hairdone. I want to have a bartender this year and I hope to find some single men to invite for the single girls. Maybe we should put a "craigslist posting" up for that? Any suggestions?

I gotta get back to work right now, but this weekend I'll write more. I am going to try to figure out how to make it so we can all post.