yeah....I miss you, I think

Dumbest thing ever. 

Nothing but silence.

I see you there, 

Quiet,

Watching but not talking.

You are watching me

I am watching you

But yet ,

So quiet....

Mind numbingly quiet

Miss you

I think

talk

don't be a boob

It is coming up to my 5 years, post atypical cell growth in my right booby. 

Cancer.  

I'm not to worry because they said it was clean margins when they removed a 2"x 4" part of my tit.

So, why do I worry?

Because I'm a nurse and I deal with cancer diagnosis' every day.  What I do know is that cancer is never cured, you are never a winner. if you live long enough it comes back.  Maybe not in my boob....but probably somewhere else.

When I went through all this, I did it pretty much alone.  I did not want to worry my family. To this day, my kids still don't know. I waited until the surgery to tell my other half.  Post surgery I was to start chemo and do mammograms every 6 months.  I did a bit of soul searching and with talking to my oncologists,  opted to not continue treatment.  The answer was that it is a 75% chance that it will return within 5-10 years with no treatment.  Because it was a clean catch and not ductal or lymph nodes I chose to not participate.  It's been fine. 

5 years is January.

 ( after the surgery .... this was called a breast saving mastectomy....they take a big scoop out and leave everything else.  Mine was not ductal , I was lucky)

This past few months I have noticed a lump in 

the same breast.  But not too big.  I have lumpy boobs anyways so I am not going to stress until the new year when it is time for my mammogram.  

For people who aren't aware ....here is what you can look for in breast changes

No need to worry....

But I do worry.  I have some underlying bone pain in weird places, I have lost a bit of weight and I have a weird feeling.  (yes a weird feeling).

I will make an appointment with the dermatologist, pretty sure I need some business on my pasty skin corrected too. 

5 years.  

I'm going to just go with it.  I guess the best advice is to cross that bridge when I get there.  I'm not sure I can walk across that bridge alone this time.   

I'll just hope for no bridge....zip.... 

clear my mind....

don't worry

my boobs are real....but this is funny

write ya later, 

m

lost in translation

One of my friends is a quiet communicator. 

Let's say silent. 

How does one communicate with a person who is silent?

How do you know the truth from bullshit? 

How do you connect?

Buried in their darkness, or is it just me.

I understand that each person is their own and each person has their own demons and issues which delays connection due to trust. My demon basket overfloweth, so I get it.

 Lost in translation. 

Open hearts, connection, passion....

It starts there.....

trust, stories, secrets....

touch.

Back to reality.

For many people, connection at the surface is enough. 

My connection is deep. I cannot even hold a friendship together if we have not shared depth. 

Shallow does not connect with me. 

my favorite is to share secret laughs and stories between.

it is unbreakable 

it is 

tight

Blank stares, lost in translation....

write ya later,

m

Why do their new girlfriends look like the old ?

I have had some thoughts lately about this.  I know it drives me crazy because it is such a double standard. It is not a new thing 

Elvis and Priscilla, she was not even 14 when they met. We will give him break because it is the South after all.

This subject mostly revolves around musicians because I have only ever dated rock guys....so it hits close to home. 

The case of the forever younger woman. 

They just keep getting younger

Or the rockstars keep getting older and older?

What the hell....

and........younger.......and younger

I would ask....does she really have sex with that man?

We know the answer is yes.....they have a new set of twins.

55 years younger.  

We have a friend who is a well known rockstar ( not pictured here ) and this came up while following an instagram feed. I kept saying, " I didn't know ____ has a daughter.  Look how cute she is....looks like she must have just graduated....Look at this cute picture"

other half says, " oh, that?  thats his new girlfriend."

"where's his wife?"

"Well, M, when someone gets a new girlfriend, the wife is usually not in the picture anymore."

"yeah yeah.  I know!  But this gal looks 22...."

"I think she is 24, or so" 

OR SO?!  He's 55 OR, SO

What does she do for him, besides set up his new iPhone and talk to him about the Kardashian new line of lipstick?

Here's the last fucked up part, I have noticed how most of the young new girlfriends look identical to the way the wife looked when they were that age.  hmmmm

Ron Woods with Jo in 1985.........

Ron Woods with  Ekaterina Ivanova   18 years old? circa 2009 or so

See what I'm talking about

Boy the resemblance is striking.  Wouldn't you say???

So if you are married to an old rockstar and their career starts to revive at age 50, ya better get your paperwork in order....because you will be replaced.

Write ya later, 

If I haven't been replaced,

m

Get over here

truth.   ????

Sometimes I just wanna get laid.   

What’s the problem? 

Write ya later

M