"You have been alone for so long , M"
Don't have guilt....
well, you know.
I laugh...because of course things could have been handled better.
Of course I could have thought more about what the result of my actions would entail.
BUT
I did...
and I did it anyways.
and here I am
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
say anything...
and here it goes
it's a story...
like high school
all names have been changed
(all of this is not verbatim, and some may be made up)
"If I don't tell you now, I'll miss my chance."
This is stuff love stories are made of....
"I have been waiting for 4 years for this day....4 years quietly waiting"
how does this happen?
It happens because when the stupid heart picks someone ....sometimes it dwells
and dwell it does
sometimes for years at a time
sometimes it tries to date,
tries to move,
tries to be normal....
but it just can't
it waits.
stupid heart
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You are beautiul
whatever you have been told....
fuck it....
look at me
I'm telling you....
I got nothing to lose but everything....
you
are perfect....
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Me:
thank you
now.....
when do I get to talk?
when can I scream to the world
YOU MAKE ME HAPPY
when do I get to stop being the hard ass
and say,
you kill me
when can I post pictures
when can I tell a friend
when can I say....
I____________you?
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
you looked at me and said this is my chance....
I haven't really dated, because of you ....
I never moved away, because of you....
the only reason I came over was to see....
you.
I have been in love with you for years....
now I sound like an idiot ...
now I have broken guy code....
now I could be totally....
I don't know....
fucked
but I had to say it to you
and now ....
I did.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
my heart
I've been alone for so long
I've been together for so long
we have been friends for so long
how did I not know?
because I love people.
I love my friends
my love is broad....
so, it's hard to distinquish
BUT
when you touched the small of my back to lead me away
I knew.
"you are breaking guy code, you know that right?"
you looked at me then looked ahead.
you opened the car door....
something that I had long forgotten was a thing
you smiled when you got in
you looked at me and sighed
"yeah, I know....I know, but you are worth it to me....
even if I lose you and everyone else"
I wanted to punch you in the throat
I wanted to scream and run
I tried to explain you to me, which was ridiculous
but you....
you looked at me
and shrugged
"it's just what my heart wants and I have to believe there is a higher power putting this all into motion...it has to mean something"
yes
my heart is scared
not of you....
of others....
what they will say
how to explain
why can't they see
the "say anything"
in all of this...
the testing the waters of love....
the love story,
unfolding
?
xo,
m
love stories
I promise at some point the humor will come back
I promise
seriously
write ya later
